


Don't Speak

by LuthienLuinwe



Category: Marvel, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Cheating, F/M, Jean is Back from the Dead, M/M, break-up fic, no happy ending, relationship fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuthienLuinwe/pseuds/LuthienLuinwe
Summary: One question. Five words.Are you sleeping with Jean?Kurt confronts Logan about a suspicion he's had since Jean's return from the grave.
Relationships: Jean Grey/Logan (X-Men), Logan/Kurt Wagner
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Don't Speak

**Don’t speak. I know what you’re saying. So please stop explaining. Don’t tell me ‘cause it hurts.**

Logan wouldn’t lie. Not to him. And at the heart of the matter, that was a problem. All Kurt needed to do was ask. One question and all of the paranoia and hurt and longing and sadness and anger would be justified or washed away. One simple question that hung on the back of his mind but kept getting caught in the back of his throat, choking him, killing him. 

One tiny little question. Five words.

_ Are you sleeping with Jean? _

It was another late night for Logan, the third that week and it was only Wednesday. Another night with Kurt sitting by the window, hoping Logan was all right, that he wasn’t hurt, that he hadn't gotten involved with Sabretooth (again) or run off to the Canadian wilderness without telling anyone (again) and telling himself that Logan wasn’t with  _ her. _

Things had been so much simpler when she had been gone, and he hated himself for even thinking it. 

But Jean had been gone.

Jean had been gone and Logan had grieved, and Kurt should have felt more upset by it than he had because Jean was  _ gone _ .

But it was the most secure he had felt in the entirety of his relationship with Logan, and he repented and confessed it every night when he knelt down to pray.

The grandfather clock rang one and Kurt stared out at the dark mansion grounds.

One little question.

Five little words.

_ Are you sleeping with Jean? _

He shut his eyes and listened. Waited. Listened and waited and tried to will away the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that Logan and Jean were away and hoping and praying to God the Almighty that they weren’t away together.

Hoping and listening and waiting and praying and trying to will away the memory of how Scott had looked at him earlier that week. Even behind the visor, Kurt could feel what Scott’s eyes were saying because Scott  _ knew  _ and Kurt  _ knew  _ and neither were brave enough or willing enough to admit it because Jean being back was still so  _ new. _

He heard the rumble of Logan’s bike coming down the drive and took a deep breath. One question. Five words. And it would be over or it wouldn’t be. 

But it wasn’t that simple.

There was too much history.

Too much water under the bridge.

Because Logan was  _ Logan  _ and meant more to Kurt than any other worldly thing ever had or ever would.

Because Logan loved  _ Jean  _ first and then Jean had died and…

_ Father, forgive me. _

Kurt shut his eyes and listened for the telltale sound of the front door opening and closing. 

Logan never had done anything gracefully.

He listened to Logan’s solid footsteps making their way down the hall. Any second and he would be near the living room archway.

“Thought I heard you,” Logan’s gruff voice greeted.

Kurt blinked and turned to face him, took in Logan’s form, leaned against the side of the archway, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

“You’re up late.”

“You’re home late,” Kurt retorted, searching Logan’s face for anything that would give it away. Anything that  _ might  _ give it away.

Because he didn’t want to ask..

He wasn’t sure he could.

_ Are you sleeping with Jean? _

“You should get to bed, elf,” Logan sighed. Kurt watched as his shoulders relaxed. As he dropped his guard.

Logan only ever let his guard down around two people.

Kurt.

And  _ Jean. _

“Jean is not with you?” he asked, unable to help himself, his accent thicker than it usually was.

“Nah,” Logan shook his head. “Didn’t know she was gone.”

Kurt almost wished he were a better liar.

He sighed and stood, graceful in the way he always was. A perfect complement to Logan’s rough edge.

_ Almost perfect. _

“What’s wrong, elf?” Logan pressed. He approached Kurt, and Kurt backed away. “Kurt?”

“How long?” 

He watched Logan’s face as he started to catch on. How his features turned from alerted to resigned in a fraction of a second that felt an eternity long. 

“How did you know?”   


“You’re a terrible liar, Logan.”

“Look, kid…” Logan started and a flash of anger rushed through Kurt’s veins.

“Do not call me that,” he snapped. It had been a long time since he had been just a student here. Logan did not get to infantilize him. Especially not now.

“It’s not that simple, Kurt,” Logan sighed, exasperated. “When she was gone, I…”

Kurt shut his eyes and shook his head, not wanting to here whatever it was that would come next.

He had always been second choice to Jean Grey.

“I loved her,” Logan sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

“ _ I  _ love you!” Kurt snapped, giving into the anger that had been threatening to boil over. He had never been enough, not then, and certainly not now, not when Jean Grey existed. Even when she had been gone.

“I know,” Logan responded, and Kurt shook his head at the response. 

“Did you ever love me?”

“It’s complicated, Kurt.”

“That is not an answer, and you know it.”

Logan was silent for a moment, and Kurt watched as the older man ran a hand through his hair. “I loved you.”

Loved.

A silence fell between them. Heavy. Oppressive. Tangible.

Only a few feet away from each other, and yet the distance felt impassable. And neither of them dared try.

“I’m sorry, kid,” Logan said, not meeting Kurt’s gaze. 

“So am I.”

He shut his eyes, envisioned his room in his mind, and was gone in a puff of sulphuric smoke.


End file.
